AUNT JANE'S NIECES AND UNCLE JOHN
Continued....
CHAPTER XIV
THE ESCAPE
As the prisoners quietly took their places at the table Tobey, who
had been drinking hard, decided to make a speech. His face was badly
swollen and he could only see through a slit in one eye, so severe had
been the beating administered by Wampus earlier in the day; but the
fellow had grit, in spite of his other unmanly qualities, and his
imperturbable good humor had scarcely been disturbed by the punishment
the Canadian had inflicted upon him.
"Ladies," said he, "and gentlemen--which of course includes our
respected male guests--I am happy to inform you that the programme for
the First Annual Hades Ranch Ball has finally been arranged, and the
dances apportioned in a fair and impartial manner. The Grand March
will take place promptly at seven o'clock, led by Miss Doyle and
Knuckles, who has won the privilege by throwing four sixes. I am to
follow with Miss De Graf, and the rest will troop on behind with the
privilege of looking at the ladies. If anyone dares to create disorder
his dances with the young ladies will be forfeited. Dan'l will play
the latest dance music on his fiddle, and if it isn't spirited
and up-to-date we'll shoot his toes off. We insist upon plenty of
two-steps and waltzes and will wind up with a monney-musk in the
gray light of dawn. This being fully understood, I beg you, my good
friends, to fall to and eat and be merry; but don't linger unduly over
the dainties, for we are all anxious, like good soldiers, to get into
action."
The remittance men applauded this oratory, and incidentally attacked
the eatables with evident determination to obey their leader's
injunction.
"We can eat any time," remarked Stubby, with his mouth full; "but
his Satanic majesty only knows when Hades Ranch will see another
dance--with real ladies for partners."
The Chinese cooks and the Mexican servants had a lively time during
this meal, for the demands made upon them were incessant. Uncle John,
whose even disposition was seldom ruffled, ate with a good appetite,
while even the Major, glum and scowling, did not disdain the numerous
well-prepared dishes. As for Dan'l, he took full advantage of the
occasion and was the last one to leave the table. Our girls, however,
were too excited to eat much and little Myrtle, especially, was pallid
and uneasy and had a startled look in her eyes whenever anyone made a
sudden motion.
As soon as the repast was concluded the servants cleared the long
table in a twinkling and pushed it back against the wall at one end of
the long room. A chair was placed for Dan'l on top of this expansive
board, which thus became a stage from whence he could overlook the
room and the dancers, and then two of the remittance men tossed the
old fiddler to his elevated place and commanded him to make ready.
Dan'l said nothing and offered no resistance. He sat plaintively
sawing upon his ancient but rich-toned violin while the floor was
brushed, the chairs and benches pushed against the wall and the room
prepared for action. Behind the violinist was a low, broad window
facing a grass plot that was free from the terrifying cactus, and the
old man noted with satisfaction that it stood wide open.
Uncle John's party had pressed close to the table and stood watching
the proceedings.
"Ready now!" called Tobey; "the Grand March is about to begin. Take
your partners, boys. Look sharp, there, Dan'l, and give us a martial
tune that will lift our feet."
Dan'l meekly set the violin underneath his chin and raised the bow as
if in readiness. "Knuckles," a brawny fellow with a florid face and a
peculiar squint, approached Patsy and bowed.
"You're to lead with me, Miss," he said. "Are you ready?"
"Not quite," she returned with dignified composure; "for I perceive
you are not quite ready yourself."
"Eh? Why not?" he inquired, surprised.
"You are still wearing your firearms," she replied. "I cannot and will
not dance with a man who carries a revolver."
"That's nothing," he retorted. "We always do."
"Always?"
"Of course. And if I shed my gun what's to prevent some one else
getting the drop on me?"
"That's it," said Patsy, firmly. "The weapons must all be surrendered
before we begin. We positively refuse to dance if rioting and shooting
are likely to occur."
A murmur of protest arose at this speech, for all the remittance men
had gathered around to listen to the argument.
"That's all tommy-rot," observed Handsome Tim, in a sulky tone. "We're
not spoiling for a row; it's the dance we're after."
"Then give up the revolvers," said Beth, coming to her cousin's
assistance. "If this is to be a peaceful entertainment you will not
need to be armed, and it is absurd to suppose a lady will dance with a
gentleman who is a walking arsenal."
They looked into one another's faces uncertainly. Dan'l sat softly
tuning his violin, as if uninterested in the controversy. Uncle John
and the Major looked on with seeming indifference.
"You must decide which you prefer--the revolvers or the dance,"
remarked Patsy, staring coolly into the ring of faces.
"Would your English ladies at home consent to dance with armed men?"
asked Beth.
"They're quite right, boys," said Stubby, nodding his bullethead.
"Let's agree to deposit all the shooting irons 'til the dance is
over."
"I won't!" cried Knuckles, his scowl deepening.
"By Jove, you will!" shouted Tobey, with unexpected vehemence. "You're
delaying the programme, old man, and it's a nuisance to dance in this
armor, anyway. Here--pile all your guns in this corner; every one of
you, mind. Then we shall all stand on an equal footing."
"Put them on the table there, by the old fiddler," said Patsy; "then
we will know we are perfectly safe."
Rather unwillingly they complied, each man walking up to the table and
placing his revolver at Dan'l's feet. The girls watched them intently.
"That man over there is still armed," called Beth, pointing to a
swarthy Mexican who squatted near the door.
"That's all right," said Tobey, easily. "He's our guard, Pedro. I've
stationed him there so you won't attempt to escape till we get ready
to let you go."
Patsy laughed.
"There's little danger of that," she said.
"All ready, now!" exclaimed Knuckles, impatiently. "We're all as
harmless as doves. Let 'er go, Dan'l!"
The old man was just then assisting Uncle John to lift Myrtle to the
top of the table, where the Major had placed a chair for her. Knuckles
growled, but waited until the girl was seated near the window. Then
Dan'l drew his bow and struck up a spirited march. Patsy took the arm
of Knuckles and paraded down the long room. Beth followed with Tobey,
and behind them tramped the remittance men in files of two. At the far
end were grouped the servants, looking curiously upon the scene, which
was lighted by lamps swung from the ceiling and a row of candles upon
the edge of the mantelshelf.
To carry out the idea of a grand march Patsy drew her escort here and
there by sharp turns and half circles, the others trailing behind like
a huge snake until she had passed down the length of the room and
started to return up the other side to the starting point. So
engrossed had been the cowboys that they did not observe the Major and
Uncle John clamber upon the table and stand beside Myrtle.
The procession was half way up the hall on its return when Patsy said
abruptly: "Now, Beth!" and darted away from her partner's side and
toward the table. Beth followed like a streak, being an excellent
runner, and for a moment Knuckles and Tobey, thus deserted by their
partners, stopped to watch them in amazement. Then their comrades
bumped into them and recalled them to their senses.
By that time the two girls had reached the table and leaped upon it.
Uncle John was waving his handkerchief from the window as a signal
to Wampus; Dan'l had laid aside his fiddle and seized a revolver in
either hand, and the Major had caught up two more of the discarded
weapons.
As Beth and Patsy turned, panting, and from their elevation looked up
the room, the cowboys gave a bellow of rage and rushed forward.
"Keep back!" shouted the Major, in stentorian tones, "I'll shoot the
first man that interferes."
Noting the grim determination in the old soldier's eye, they hesitated
and came to a halt.
"What do you mean by this infernal nonsense?" cried Tobey, in disgust.
"Why, it's just checkmate, and the game is up," replied Uncle John
amiably. "We've decided not to hold the proposed dance, but to take
our departure at once."
He turned and passed Myrtle out of the window where Wampus took her
in his arms, crutches and all, and carried her to the automobile. The
remittance men, unarmed and confronted by their own revolvers, stood
gaping open-mouthed and seemingly dazed.
"Let's rush 'em, boys!" shouted Handsome Tim, defiantly.
"Rush 'em alone, if you like," growled Knuckles. "I'm not ready for
the graveyard yet."
"You are vot iss called cowardices," said Dan'l, flourishing the
revolvers he held. "Come on mit der courage, somebotty, so I can shoot
holes in you."
"You're building your own coffin just now, Dan'l," retorted Tobey,
in baffled rage. "We know where to get you, old boy, and we'll have
revenge for this night's work."
"I vill take some popguns home mit me," was the composed reply. "Den,
ven you come, I vill make a receptioning for you. Eh?"
Uncle John, Patsy and Beth had followed Myrtle through the window and
disappeared.
"Now, sir," said the Major to the old fiddler, "make your escape while
I hold them at bay."
"Nod yet," replied Dan'l. "Ve must gif ourselves de most
protectionment ve can."
With this he gathered up the firearms, one by one, and tossed them
through the window. Then he straightened up and a shot flashed down
the hall and tumbled the big Mexican guard to the floor just as he was
about to glide through the doorway.
"Dit ve say shtand still, or dit ve nod say shtand still?" asked
Dan'l, sternly. "If somebody gets hurt, it iss because he don'd obey
de orderations."
"Go, sir!" commanded the Major.
"I vill; bud I go last," declared the old man. "I follow you--see? Bud
you take my violin, please--unt be very tender of id, like id vas your
sveetheardt."
The Major took the violin and climbed through the window, proceeding
to join the others, who were by now seated in the car. When he had
gone Dan'l prepared to follow, first backing toward the window and
then turning to make an agile leap to the ground below. And now with a
shout the cowboys made their rush, only to halt as Dan'l reappeared at
the window, covering them again with his revolvers.
"So, you defils--make a listen to me," he called. "I am experiencing
a goot-bye to you, who are jackals unt imitation men unt haf no goot
right to be alive. Also if I see any of you de next time, I vill shoot
first unt apologise at der funeral. I haf no more monkey business mit
you voteffer; so keep vere you are until I am gone, unt you vill be
safeness."
He slowly backed away from the window, and so thoroughly cowed was the
group of ruffians that the old fiddler had been lifted hastily into
the automobile before the cowboys mustered courage to leap through
the window and search in the darkness for their revolvers, which lay
scattered widely upon the ground.
Wampus, chuckling gleefully, jerked the hoods off his glaring
searchlights, sprang to his seat and started the machine down the road
before the crack of a single revolver was heard in protest. The shots
came thicker after that, but now the automobile was bowling merrily
along the road and soon was out of range.
"De road iss exceptionalment goot," remarked Dan'l. "Dere iss no
dangerousness from here to der rifer."
"Danger?" said the chauffeur, scornfully. "Who cares for danger? I am
Wampus, an' I am here!"
"We are all here," said Patsy, contentedly nestling against the
cushions; "and I'm free to confess that I'm mighty glad of it!"
AUNT JANE'S NIECES AND UNCLE JOHN
Continued....
 
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